The heavy rain has been falling non-stop. The world outside the window is blurred by the rain, and the puddles on the streets reflect the dim street lights, like a transparent film, covering all the truth. Looking through the glass at the ruined city, I can’t help wondering, when will there be a real sunny day, or in other words, will we still find a ray of light in this city?

I have been in this city for many years. Every year I am submerged in the dust and rain of this city, and every year I grope for my future in this uneasy climate. People say that this city will never change. It is like a snail, always crawling slowly, crawling and crawling, and finally it can only be swallowed by a sudden rainstorm. I don’t know if this is true, and I dare not ask myself whether I have become the snail waiting to be swallowed in this city.

My neighbor Xiao Chen is a very strange person. He is not beautiful or smart, but he has a special ability: he can live in this city like a completely carefree person. I often watched him walk downstairs. He was wearing a worn-out shirt and his pants were faded, but he always smiled, as if everything had nothing to do with him. Every time I saw him, I would always think of my past, the times when I felt destined to be happy, and the future we had imagined in those years.

However, the dreams I once had have now disappeared without a trace. My life is like being thrown into a bottomless abyss, with endless darkness and endless pain. Even so, I still live like a fearless dead person, as if there is nothing that can make me panic in this city. Just like my former friend Xiao Gao, he died in an accident a long time ago, but I am still alive and continue to live a meaningless life in this city.

I have no relatives or friends, only those broken memories and endless loss. Whenever it is late at night, I will lie on the bed, close my eyes, and try to forget everything. But there is always an inexplicable pain that wanders in my heart, like a knife, ruthlessly cutting my soul. People often say that time can heal all pain, but I found that time only buried the pain deeper. Whenever I thought I had forgotten it, the pain came again like a tide, silently and drowned me.

Sometimes I would go to the bar, sit in the corner, and drink one glass after another. Alcohol gave me a short-term anesthesia, but after that anesthesia, the feeling of emptiness came back. At that time, I would think that maybe I should stop living like this, stop all struggles, obey the arrangement of fate, and go with the flow. But then I thought, if I really die like this, then I am still alive? Or, what is the purpose of living? For what? Living seems to have no meaning, and death seems to be a kind of relief.

And just then, Xiao Chen walked into the bar. His smile was still so bright, as if the outside world had nothing to do with him. He walked up to me and patted my shoulder: “What’s wrong, man, you don’t look very happy.” I smiled slightly and shook my head: “Nothing, just a little tired.” He smiled and nodded, then turned to ask the bar owner for a drink.

I looked at his back as he left, and an inexplicable emotion surged in my heart. People who live in such a city don’t need to endure too much pain. They can live with a smile easily, while those of us who struggle to live are enduring unspeakable pain every day. I suddenly realized that life is really so absurd, so absurd that people want to escape, but there is nowhere to escape.

The next day, the sky still didn’t clear up, and the rain continued to fall. I walked on the slippery streets, stepping on the puddles, and my heart was in chaos. Suddenly, I saw a stray dog ​​on the side of the road. It stood on the side of the road, staring at me blankly, and there seemed to be a hint of pleading in its eyes. I stopped and looked down at it. The dog didn’t move, just looked at me quietly, as if waiting for something.

I suddenly realized that this dog might be like me, living in this hopeless land, and it was also waiting for something, perhaps its waiting was more real and direct than mine. It is not as complicated as humans, it just wants to survive, just wants to eat a bite of food, just wants to find a place to live in this cold world. Its life is simple and pure. Although it is also abandoned by this society, it does not complain. It just lives silently, as if it is an instinct.

I squatted down, stretched out my hand, and gently stroked its head. It did not hide, but stood there quietly, accepting my touch. I smiled, and suddenly felt relieved. Perhaps, life is really not that complicated. Perhaps, as long as you can survive, even if you just live a miserable life, it is a victory.

As the rain continues to erode, the city is becoming more and more blurred. People still live in their own corners. Perhaps they have become accustomed to this numb state and are accustomed to no longer expecting any changes. Our destiny has long been kidnapped by the darkness of this city and cannot be freed. However, we still continue and still live – no matter how tortuous, difficult, or even seemingly endless this road is.

Perhaps, living is enough.